Living intentionally....

SO it is my goal to live with intention, with purpose.  To be honoring to my God, my family, and to who I am and who I am trying to be. 

I believe in writing down goals... Did you know that only 10% of people write down their goals?  And less than 10% of people in the US are considered wealthy.  80% of those wealthy people have written out goals...interesting correlation.  That being said.  This short blog is a version of me writing down my goals.  If I write it down I will do it.  I HOPE :)

You see I am about to enter what is typically a sad season for me.  Lots of sad grief filled anniversary dates are up and coming.  I usually stuff them down...remember THE MONSTER  

As I enter this season instead of the typical stuffing, this year I want to process.  I am going to relive...which is maybe the wrong term,  I am going to walk back through it with a different perspective.  I am going to be really raw and real.  No sugar coating...sorry.  I think blogging and journaling these events as I remember them will be healing in a way.  Healing that my heart is honestly longing for.  I also want to honor my precious brother through all of this. 

As I scan back on those events, but have not really dived in, I see evidence that there is a GOD!  That people are beautiful and well intentioned.  As well as stupid and opinionated. (sorry no sugar here)  That each moment in time is well orchestrated, even when we don't want to believe in what is happening.  That you quickly learn who your true friends are.  That even family that you except to be there can fail you.  And so much more.    These truths are amazing, awe inspiring and heart breaking.  To ignore them another year and just stuff them down will do nothing but feed the monster. 

So I will put a **WARNING**  at the top of those blogs...so if you only want to read about my hilarious but adorable children and how much I love them you will know not to read these blogs.  But if you too are tackling your own monster...well than we can journey through all this together.

Lord, I am so scared of what is ahead.  But fear will not stop me.  Healing is a good thing.  Something that I am worthy of.  I love you for showing me this Sunday, that I have a broken heart, sick, and in need of repair.  And that you alone Lord can heal me. 

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 

Here goes nothing...stay tuned...or stay away...up to you! :)