CRAZY

I was "that CRAZY mom" yesterday...I hope no small children had nightmares...

So we are at Tommy's baseball game and I had to leave his game a little early.  I drive by the park where Caleb and Luke are playing to check on them before I go, I see two boys beating the CRAP out of one another.  From my car I scream "HEY!!"  No one turns to look at me.  SO, I throw my car into park, leave my door open and fly across the park with speed I forgot I had.


Okay so I didn't quite look that good but you get the picture, I actually shocked myself at how quick I could move and in flip flops even!

Let me set up the scene for you...

Two kids beating each other down, one kid kinda frozen, another with his hat turned sideways egging them on (cheering), two kids coming at them with tree branches, lots of other kids either watching from the play equipment or just playing.   NOT AN ADULT IN SIGHT.  At first I thought maybe they are just "playing"  pretending to box or be ninjas, then I thought "OH NO" what if their parents love MMA...I panicked. 

Then for a split second I thought what if I am on that show with John Quinones

HAHA!  Crazy what goes through your mind in what is likely split seconds!

So I run up to them and scream in my biggest mom voice "KNOCK IT OFF!!!"  They all froze. The child being pulverized looked up at me with his big brown pools of shame for eyes, tears and sweat running down his face snot everywhere like I was his saving grace.  The "pulverizer" looked as though he may wet his pants.  Honestly I could have turned him over my knee right there.  I asked them "Where is your Moms?!"  I got the typical "I don't know!" So I told them "Go find her and tell her what you did!!"  You know what they did!  They left to go find their moms.  Not sure if they told them what they did but they left and stopped fighting.  My two main objectives.

Then I turn my attention to the kid with his hat sideways and the branch boys,  I tell them "YOU are not cool, if I ever catch you acting like this again you will be in HUGE trouble"  I even say "Do you think your mother would be happy to know what you are doing right now?"  They all hang there heads and say "no".  I am using my BIG voice the whole time and I get BIG results.  Kids are scared silent.  The word BUSTED is consistently on my mind...haha!

Then I scream at ALL the other children despite them not being involved, that if I ever catch them fighting they will be kicked out of the park...as if I have that kind of authority.  I tell them that when someone is fighting to come get an adult because if they let it happen they are just as guilty.  Sounds like a lesson from one of my parents, the words I was using, were shockingly similar to something they may say!  Thanks again Mom and Dad :)

Then a mom comes up, she gives me that "I can't stop staring at your train wreck" look.  I then proceed to admit what I was just up to as if I were at confession.  I am shocked at what I just said and did with these children that do not belong to me.  Shocked.  But NOT disappointed I did it.

As for the children that do belong to me, they are oblivious...running around with their buddies the Ness kids from hockey.  They are either in agreement with what I just did or so used to me hollering they are unfazed.  As I am running back to my illegally parked vehicle with the door wide open and my purse on the seat (dumb) Caleb screams to me "Have fun Mom, See you later LOVE YOU!"  Really buddy?!  I love you too!  I thought for sure that I just mortified you with my crazy, but you love me despite it?!  Or are you just used to it....either way...this CRAZY mama, loves and adores you and will be CRAZY for you anytime!!

Thought for this Memorial Day Weekend :)

Never do I miss the opportunity to tell my children that I love them.  So often that at times I hear the "I KNOW MOM" after I tell them.  If I have gotten home from work late and they are already in bed, which honestly has happened more often than not lately.  I still go in, kiss them and tell them I love them.  ALWAYS!  Not a hard thing to do but something that can be easily skipped due to "oh they know" or "I will tell them in the morning" or "I am EXHAUSTED"

You and I know that we have all done this, saw on the caller ID who was calling and said..."mmm I think I will talk to them later."  Or "it's just my mom/dad/brother, I can talk to them later."  Literally the day before my brother's last day of life, he called me.  I looked down at my cell phone and thought, I really just need to finish this vacuuming and I will call him tomorrow or the next day.  For some reason I did the exact opposite.  I answered spoke to him for a long while.  We talked about random things, everyday things, we laughed.  There is not a moment that goes by that I don't CHERISH that conversation.  In the conversation he had told me somewhat randomly that he had just finished reading the book of John in the Bible.  He told me some cute southern girl told him to read the same book of the bible I encouraged him to read.  He left it at that and I did not push. I found a lot of peace in that in the days after his death.  But what would've happened if I missed or ignored his call, the guilt and regret would've been overwhelming. 

I recently heard that a powerful business man, I am pretty sure its Trump but cant remember, always answers calls from his children.  NO matter who he is meeting with or doing.  And he meets with some pretty important people.  But by taking those calls he tells those kids that they are the most important people in HIS world!  Love this, something to live by!

Have a fun, safe, and BLESSED Memorial Day!! 

Living intentionally....

SO it is my goal to live with intention, with purpose.  To be honoring to my God, my family, and to who I am and who I am trying to be. 

I believe in writing down goals... Did you know that only 10% of people write down their goals?  And less than 10% of people in the US are considered wealthy.  80% of those wealthy people have written out goals...interesting correlation.  That being said.  This short blog is a version of me writing down my goals.  If I write it down I will do it.  I HOPE :)

You see I am about to enter what is typically a sad season for me.  Lots of sad grief filled anniversary dates are up and coming.  I usually stuff them down...remember THE MONSTER  

As I enter this season instead of the typical stuffing, this year I want to process.  I am going to relive...which is maybe the wrong term,  I am going to walk back through it with a different perspective.  I am going to be really raw and real.  No sugar coating...sorry.  I think blogging and journaling these events as I remember them will be healing in a way.  Healing that my heart is honestly longing for.  I also want to honor my precious brother through all of this. 

As I scan back on those events, but have not really dived in, I see evidence that there is a GOD!  That people are beautiful and well intentioned.  As well as stupid and opinionated. (sorry no sugar here)  That each moment in time is well orchestrated, even when we don't want to believe in what is happening.  That you quickly learn who your true friends are.  That even family that you except to be there can fail you.  And so much more.    These truths are amazing, awe inspiring and heart breaking.  To ignore them another year and just stuff them down will do nothing but feed the monster. 

So I will put a **WARNING**  at the top of those blogs...so if you only want to read about my hilarious but adorable children and how much I love them you will know not to read these blogs.  But if you too are tackling your own monster...well than we can journey through all this together.

Lord, I am so scared of what is ahead.  But fear will not stop me.  Healing is a good thing.  Something that I am worthy of.  I love you for showing me this Sunday, that I have a broken heart, sick, and in need of repair.  And that you alone Lord can heal me. 

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 

Here goes nothing...stay tuned...or stay away...up to you! :)

Blog Tag :)

So my friend Amber from http://thestrobel3.blogspot.com/ tagged me in a post and I am going to play along!  Amber sis in law is my bestie and she has a really fun blog!  Check her out!  She also has a little girl and is expecting twin boys!  FUN!! x2 :D  Its all about favorite things....although I am bit of a rebel, dont always like following the rules...so I will start with favorite things and then I will likely share some things that annoy me! :) 

Favorite Things
#1Homemade Mother's Day Gifts...They just melt my heart...my lil boys are so creative and funny!




First this one above is Tommy's...He has become such an artist I love the details of my favorite colors and his very beautifully cursive signed name...ADORABLE!!



This one is Caleb's...It was a book comparing us...I love that I have him believing my favorite food is salad, and that I weigh just 80 lbs at my young age of 29...hehe...I also love how he spelled my profession...."mossogr" translation massager :)  SO FUN!



Now for the piece de resistance...This is Luke's portrait of dear old mom.  Yes that is a pig nose...here is how the conversation went....

Me:  "Luke this a LOVELY drawing of me, do you think Mommy has a piggy face or a piggy nose"
Luke: "No not really I just learned how to draw one and thought you would like one"
In my head: You have SOOO much to learn about women
Me:  "What a beautiful blue string necklace I have!"
Luke: nothing just looks down
Caleb:  "It used to have fruit loops on it, but he got hungry on the bus, so he ATE them!"
Everyone laughed...Happy Mother's Day to me! 

I also got a beautiful bead for my pandora bracelet...Sioux GREEN of course!  Tom later said it would be good if I went to Wimmers and wrote a list of charms I would like...the next one they want to get me is purple for the Vikings...oh how I love being a Mom to 3 boys.

#2  How my husband is still like a kid when it comes to the things he loves!  My husband loves sports.  He LOVES hockey!  He LOVES baseball!  We went to the Twins game this past Tuesday, just the two of us and very last minute.  After a few small bumps in our plans which nearly gave him a heart attack (we had minor ticket issues)  He walked into the stadium, went straight to his best possible view of the stadium and beamed with a grin from ear to ear!! You could just feel the joy coming off of him...it was GREAT to be there, GREAT to be together, GREAT to see it all...but the best part of it all was his reaction.  Money well spent!  Best Buy takes your pic for free and emails it to you at the game...it was confusing on where to look because you can see yourself in the monitor that's why Tom is looking down! :)





#3  My girlfriends, last night we just hung out...laughed, talked about inappropriate things, laughed some more...no pressure to be something your not...just have fun!  I am blessed, very blessed.

#4  HOT WEATHER...when we were in Minneapolis it was 83 degrees and humid...I LOVED IT!  I long for summer.  Please come soon summer or I may go on vacation and not come back!

#5  My job, mainly because it doesnt feel like work...it feels like I was meant to do this my whole life.  I love giving and recieving massage.  I love helping people.  I love the opportunity to change lives for the better.  I just love it.  Although I struggle with balance at times with home and work I am confident I am doing what I am suppose to do.

#6 Matchmaking...I will have to blog about this another day in more detail...I love doing this!  I have set up three couples that are now happily married and have children.  But I have had my disaters as well.  And I do mean DISASTERS!  I just believe life is more full when you have love in it.  I have visions of myself being like the millionare matchmaker, minus the millionare part :)

#7  Cooking.  I haven't done this in a LONG time.  So tonight, hope your hungry family...mama has a plan to fill your bellies with healthy goodness!  I have an oriental chicken salad recipe that is AWESOME & EASY!!

Now to the annoying :)  Let see if I can get to 10 things total...

#8 So I am in the grocery store at 8am the other day getting birthday treats for Tommy's class (PS when I delivered them all the girls asked Tommy if his mom was just 18 and if I was his older sister~  CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK THERE!!!) anyways, I was in line and a woman was checking out with her son, he was eatting a complimentary donut hole.  He had a candy bar in his hand and a dollar.  I thought to myself Cute she must of let him pick out his own afternoon treat and he gets to pay for it...PRECIOUS!  She then proceeds to unwrap it and let him eat it...he then proceeds to climb on everything and run out the front door.  She then proceeds to scream at him,  "I dont know whats wrong with you?!  I cant believe you just ran out the door you are so NAUGHTY!"  I gave her the EVIL eye...REALLY lady?  Your going to give your child that CRAP to eat at 8am and then tell him HE is naughty...shame on you...shame.

#9 That I didnt bake Tommy's birthday cake this year.  When I asked him what kind of cake he wanted he told me he wanted my famous chocolate cake with chocolate icing, the one I decorate like an amateur with m&ms and everyone enjoys.  Then they all fight over the last piece!...when it came down to it I just simply ran out of steam so on the night before his birthday...I cringed at hearing myself say...how about a DQ icecream cake??  He of course said AWESOME!!  But it just wasnt the same and I will not let that happen again, definitley not my mom of the year moment.  I know not a big deal but it was to me. And the $24.99 price about sent me to my grave!

#10 That we as women put ourselves at the BOTTOM of the list.  We are accepting of pain both emotionally and physically because we are always on the back burner.  Everyone else's needs come first.  I do this myself all the time...and I hate it!  I am trying to get better and will call you out on it if you do it to yourself around me!  You DESERVE good things people!  Life is a rat race but we can take time to enjoy our families, the little things and attempt to take care of ourselves too.  Not just on Mother's Day!  I am a priority and my well being matters.  There is no shame in needing a little time to myself, to go out with my girlfriends, and to take care of my body.  No guilt, no shame.  I am a better wife, mother, more patient, more compassionate, loving, when I take care of ME!  Why is that such a hard thing to admitt.  Why do I hear the negative self talk mantra starting in my head when I say things like that.  Clearly an issue that needs work...we will get there.  Eventually.

I feel like I need to end on a positive... so here goes...my new favorite thing is BLOGGING and even more than that reading other peoples blogs...its so true that you can walk down a street and stare at the homes and not know the health or the energy of those behind the walls of the home.  You can stare into a sea of faces and never truly know what those hearts are longing for, hurting for, or working through.  Death and Taxes may be guarantees but so is struggle...we all struggle.  So extend grace to all you meet is a great philosphy to live by.  Thank you for letting me peek into your life so I can pray for your struggle and rejoice with you in your joy!  Keep on blogging! 

So now I will tag some of my blogging friends to stay within the rules of 10 favorite things or you can throw in some things that annoy you like me! :)  So Sara, Brandi J, Elizabeth, Betsy, Vicky...tag your it :)

Heroes

With it being Mother's Day tomorrow...I wanted to be able to tell you a bit about one of my heroes...

MY MOM 

Her upbringing is one that is hard for me to wrap my mind around.  To say she grew up in a third world country, in poverty, is an understatement...the women lived in a hut...yes a hut
This one is not "the one"..but I think we need a visual....and this one is probably like the Hilton in comparison to the one she actually lived in. 

To say she has experienced tragedy, loss, pain...again probably the understatement of the century.  But yet she is the essence of perseverance.

She is a wonderful Mother and a PHENOMENAL Grandmother. 

Here are just a few of the things that make her AMAZING

#1  Birthdays are a really big deal to her...your day is not complete with out a phone call singing you her rendition of HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 

#2 She is the BEST  and I do mean BEST waker uper...she would massage you and sing a wake up and stretch song for you...so AWESOME!!

#3 She rocks in the kitchen and never down plays it!!  Which I just love...You will say "WOW this is good Mom" and she will say "Yep"  or "I know"  Nothing wrong with being good at something and knowing it! 

#4  She is genuinely LUCKY...she wins at everything...I mean EVERYTHING.  Which she claims is all skill :)

#5  She is generous....so GENEROUS.  You need something she gets it for you.  She is not afraid to give you the shirt off of her back...she amazes me.

#6 She has a kitchen gadget OBSESSION...LOVE IT!  I 125% love this about her, she finds the newest gadgets and always gets one for me too~ See #5 :)

#7  She loves a GREAT deal, if she finds a shirt she likes, don't be surprised if when you look in her closet she has EVERY color it came in!

#8 She doesn't waste, she doesn't know how...Didn't finish your supper, that's OK Mom will save it and eat it at the next meal with some rice :)  HA HA!!

#9 She is hardworking...she has owned her own business for I think 9 years now...maybe just under...anywho...she has NEVER had an employee, rarely takes a day off, has built a business from NOTHING to something to be very very PROUD of.  

#10 She loves my husband, I mean loves him as her own.  As a daughter, there is just something about that that makes you feel SO GOOD!  And he loves her too. 

#11  She is such a GREAT example of what love looks like.  I want to be a  Grandma, just like her!!  And I am so grateful to her and my Dad for showing me what a good marriage looks like


#12  She loves with her whole self,  when she loves you there is not a part of her soul that doesn't love you.  She is such a passionate person.  Its the reason for her temper.  But that's acceptable when you understand the first part of this.

I could go on and on,really...I want to tell you why she is such a great teacher, how she is loyal, how intelligent she is, how she can sing/dance, and loves to be social but I will save that for another time.

You know I have heard it said that the mother/daughter relationship is by far one of the most complicated relationships there is...I believe it.  We used to fight, scream, not talk, get super angry...but now I realize its just part of the journey.  When I reached my mid to late 20's we seemed to put all of our petty fighting aside.  I think it had alot to do with my need to mature and the realization that life is too precious.  Plus the grandkids help :)

Being a mother is definitely the hardest job in the world.  I am so blessed to surround myself with so many amazing women to which I can follow their lead...Mom, Peggy, Jen, Heather, Sara, Nicole, Brandi, Stacie, Liz, just to name a few...so many of you are amazing Mom's for all kinds of different reasons... THANK YOU for sharing your stories with me, recipes that make my life easier, helping me figure out what to do, and what not to do.  Sharing your successes and struggles with me has taught me so much...my love cup is so full right now....love you girls!  I am so BLESSED!!
     

Happy Mother's Day!! 

11 years ago my life changed

As I type this I am bawling,  I can hardly believe that 11 years ago you came into my life.  (The pictures in this blog are from your 10th year of life :) and fourth grade as well as the summer before  4th grade )

First some of the stats...I know you would appreciate this :)  You weighed in at 6lbs 12oz (the largest of all my babies)  You were due on May 19th and came to meet us on May 6th!  In time for your Aunt Jen and Uncle Grant's Wedding!   You were 20.5 inches long.  You screamed and were a healthy happy boy from your first breathe.  I learned so much about babies with you.  Made so many mistakes.  But we survived it all!!

Now I am going to gush over you a bit...as a baby people would often comment on how beautiful you were (Gerber baby was actually often how people referred to you) and how I really could bring you anywhere (you were so good and friendly)  You rarely made strange and seemed to be fascinated by other children especially your very busy older cousin Morgan.  You brought out a side in my own mother that was just awe inspiring to me.  You truly changed her, us, our entire family...in the best ways imaginable. 
I went into labor with you after attending a Cinco De Mayo party at Dad's bosses home.  Dad went to fast over a speed bump and my water broke...11 hours later...you were here...crazy and wonderful!

Now your stats at 11 so your adult self can compare someday :) Today you are an entire 56 inches and last you told me you weighed just over 70 lbs...wow!  You have changed in 11 years but you are still sweet, make friends easily, you are such a gentleman, have excellent manners.  But you are also a leader not a follower....I love this about you.  You love sports and right now you would do just about anything to be like your Dad!  So cool!  You play hockey, golf, and baseball.  Hockey is by far your favorite. 

You and Morgan are such GREAT buds still to this day!  I hope when your adult self reads this...you guys are still good friends...if you haven't talked in a while call her!  You know she would love to hear from you!  Do it...because your Mom says so!! :)

You love little kids and I can imagine you working with kids some day!  Although your little brothers annoy and frustrate you VERY easily... I think this has something to do with them knowing just how to push your buttons.  

Your Dad and I love you so much buddy!  We are so proud of the young man you are becoming!  WE ADORE YOU!

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY

 THOMAS WYATT!!  

FUNNY BOYS!

Well our life is definitely not boring with you three...

Tommy insisted, I mean insisted that he is growing a mustache...


As I tried not to laugh and got my inspecting eyes ready, I pulled closer and closer....he says "Can't you see it MOM??  Its blond, but I am a real man now...can I start shaving??"  OH Lord child no you cannot!

Caleb's Kindergarten teacher ran Luke's welcome to Kindergarten night.  During the talk about music she said.  " We have a Mom of one of the boys in my class here today, and boy can he sing, he sings all the time, and he has GREAT dance moves"  Tom was mortified but laughing, I on the other hand felt a huge sense of pride that someone got my talent...JUST KIDDING!! haha! 

Caleb also lost one of his top front teeth...he showed it to me and said "Smell it!!"  OH child what am I going to do with you! 

Caleb loves to tell a great story, to bad they all start with ...."Remember what happened laster-night."

Luke loves sports and learning the names of teams and when he doesn't know the name he makes his own.  For example the Tampa Bay Lightning (NHL) are now known in our house as the "electrics". 

 He like Caleb seems to fumble over a few key phrases.  He cannot say another, he says a-mother...He kills me when he says key things like I want a-mother day off...believe me buddy so does mommy, a mother day off sounds great :)

Happy Wednesday!